Stop robbing your joy: how to get out of the comparison trap

Do you sometimes find yourself looking at other people’s lives and wishing you had what they had? Questioning the choices you’ve made and why you’re not living your best life?

It’s a trap we all fall into sometimes. It’s easy when you’re constantly exposed to everyone else’s highlight reel at the end of your fingertips on social media. All you see is other people’s seemingly perfect lives, leaving you questioning your worth and why you’re not where they are.

A woman stood near a lake and mountain at dusk looks down at her phone with the screen light shining in her face

Maybe you sometimes find yourself thinking things like:

  • “She’s doing better than me and we’re the same age”

  • “Why am I not making the same amount of money as him?”

  • “I feel so behind”

  • "Why does their life seem so much easier than mine?"

  • "Why am I not as happy as everyone else?"

It seems like they’ve got it all together.

The truth is they probably don’t! Every person goes through ups and downs in their life. Most people you speak to probably have something they’re dealing with right now that you don’t know about, because they’re keeping it hidden from the world.

Everyone has good and bad moments. There is no comparison to be made about someone else’s life.

You have no idea what someone else has been through in their life, what their journey looks like and how they’ve got to where they are right now!

Comparing yourself to what you THINK you know about someone else’s life is going to get you absolutely nowhere. There’s so much more than what you see on the surface. So for the sake of your own wellbeing, please stop.

Neon light with a like icon from instagram next to the number 0

Comparison is the thief of joy.

There’s much more valuable ways to use your precious energy than getting caught up in comparing yourself to what you see of someone else’s life, that probably isn’t even the reality.

Focus on your own growth, progress, and accomplishments. Stay in your lane and trust your own path, because only you can create the outcomes in your life.

Here are some ways to overcome comparison:

  • Practice gratitude regularly. Shift your focus from the lack mentality of thinking about what other people have to abundance and thinking about all the things big and small you are grateful for in your life!

  • If you’re not feeling good about the way your life is at the moment, that's okay. Things aren't always going to run smoothly and we all experience challenges in life sometimes. Practice self-awareness and become present with what’s coming up for you. Spend some time reflecting on why you might be struggling at the moment, how you can give yourself what you need and if there is anything you can do to change your current situation. Try not to avoid your emotions.

  • Spend less time consuming on social media and getting sucked into the highlight reel of people’s lives. This is going to feed those negative emotions and lead you further into the comparison trap. Spend more time doing things you love doing, things that make you feel good.

  • Focus on your achievements and celebrate your progress, wherever you're at in your journey. Look at how far you've come and celebrate YOU. Think about what you’re proud of. It's easy to compare your life to others when it's in front of you all the time but don't forget to check in with yourself.

  • Reflect on what’s coming up for you when you’re comparing yourself. You can use it as an opportunity to learn and grow. Spend some time journaling on what exactly it is that you want. Use it as inspiration, to help you create the life you want.. But not as a way to make yourself feel bad or beat yourself up about the fact you’re not there yet. You can use this energy instead to motivate you and hep you move forward to where you want to be.


Comparison is a waste of time, and not even based on reality. It’s only your perception of someone else’s life. Remember that you don’t always know what’s happening under the surface. Even those closest to you probably have things going on that you’re not aware of. 

Everyone is on a different journey. You are on your own journey so remember that the next time you fall into the comparison trap. Stay focused on yourself instead of others. Show yourself compassion - if you don’t get it right straight away; that’s okay!

Live your life in alignment with your own values, and stay true to you. Prioritise your wellbeing and put yourself first. When you do these things the rest will follow! 

If you keep getting stuck in a cycle of comparison and would love some support to help you overcome that and live life on your terms, book a free intro call with me to find out how I can help you.


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