5 reasons you're not getting what you want (& how to fix it)
Do you ever wonder why no matter how hard you try, you're just not getting what you want?
It can feel really frustrating when you’re stuck in a rut and you feel like you’re trying hard to change your life, create new habits and build a life for yourself where you feel fulfilled and aligned.
When you’re putting in all the effort, working hard to try and change your life, create new habits and build a life for yourself where you feel fulfilled and you want it so much, but you’re just not seeing the results you want, it can be so frustrating. No matter how hard you try it just doesn’t seem to be happening!
It's usually all related to what's going on under the surface, in your subconscious mind. The unconscious mind runs the show, and when we have certain things we’re not aware of going on here, it can be having a big impact in our lives.
Here are 5 reasons why you might not be getting what you want in life:
1. You’re not clear on what you want
If you have a vague idea of what you want, then you're likely to just muddle through being indecisive and drifting aimlessly. It means you’re not fully focused on where you’re going because there’s no clear direction. Decisions are more difficult, there’s likely going to be inner conflict about what actions to take next. However, when you are completely and utterly clear on your vision for your life, your goals and your next steps, you can visualise it every day. You can get into the energy of already having it, feel what that would feel like and move forward knowing your actions are aligned with that vision, feeling motivated, focused and inspired!
2. It's not aligned with your values
There might be something you really want or think you want because society tells you that you should, and everyone else has it or wants it. But if it's not truly aligned with your values and what's important to you as a person in your life, then you're likely to feel disconnected and unfulfilled, no matter how close you get to having it. This creates more internal conflict and makes it really difficult to achieve because there’ll be a part of you pushing against it and it just won’t feel right.
3. You have an upper limit problem
This is what self-sabotage is and it’s basically when things are going good or you're about to level up or achieve a goal, something will happen that keeps you where you are or slows progress. This is not done intentionally because it comes from the subconscious. It comes from believing deep down that we're only allowed a certain amount of goodness in our lives. And when we reach that limit, we need to be brought 'back down to earth'. It shows up in procrastination, putting things off, imposter syndrome, negative self-talk, conflict, illness or being scared of failing so avoiding doing new things.
4. You're not taking action
For things to change and for you to grow, learn and achieve your goals, you have to take action. You need to take steps towards those things consistently. You also need to do things differently to how you're doing them right now. You can't keep doing the same things day in, day out, and expect things to change, right?! Nothing changes if nothing changes. Taking action is probably one of the most important things when it comes to getting what you want out of life. It doesn’t have to be big difficult actions every single day, but taking it step by step and showing up consistently will have a really positive impact in helping you work towards your goals!
5. You don't really believe in yourself
Consciously and logically, you know you're a capable person. You have proof in your past experiences. But deep deep down, there's a part of you that doesn't feel like you're good enough to create the life you dream about, this part tells you it's not possible for someone like you, so why would you bother? It’s a part of you that doesn't truly believe you can achieve those BIG, BIG dreams. That they are in fact, just a daydream. When you have limiting beliefs like this, it makes it really hard to move forward because once again there is an internal conflict that’s going to keep you stuck and stop change from happening.
This is all the subconscious beliefs, stories, habits and patterns that are created from your experiences growing up and learned from the people and society around you. If there’s a part of you that believes your goals are out of reach and that it’s really hard to make money and to be successful... well guess what?! It is going to be a lot more difficult than if you really believe it’s possible, that you trust the process, and that you know good things can come into your life easily!
With reflection, working on your mindset, regulating your nervous system and doing the inner work, you can rewrite this narrative! You can create a deep sense of self-belief and confidence in yourself in order to write a new story about your life, one that is right for YOU.
Here is a step-by-step process to start getting what you want, achieving your goals and feeling fulfilled and like you’re living a life of purpose:
Understand what’s important to you about your life and your values
Spend some time visualising your dream life
Journal on any objections or resistance that comes up as to why you can’t achieve these goals. Do the inner work to overcome any limiting beliefs, emotional or energetic blocks, irrational fears, and unwanted habits that are getting in the way of you having this dream life
Commit to daily and weekly practices to support your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing!
Create 12 month and 90 day goals based on your dream life
Take ACTION.
Things really start to change when you get completely clear on your values & what you want, work on those limiting stories you are subconsciously telling yourself without even realising, and then TAKE ACTION, the inspired, messy, step by step action.
By making the choice to work with your subconscious mind and make changes in your life when things aren’t working out, you are taking responsibility for your life and the results you’re getting! It’s an extremely powerful mindset shift.
When you do all of this and start to prioritise yourself, you’ll start getting what you want. Try it, and watch what happens as the process unfolds. The possibilities and opportunities for amazing things in your life such as joy, gratitude, abundance, freedom become endless and available to you.
This is all part of the process I use in my 1:1 work with clients to help them get what they want out of life! It’s an extremely transformational process that is tried and tested. To explore how this might look for you, book a free intro call.
Free guided meditation for busy minds
Go from stressed to calm in 18 minutes a day with this free guided meditation to support support you to slow down, release stress and let go of the things holding you back. Listen to this every day to create positive change at the root and give yourself a boost for the day.
