6 steps to overcome limiting beliefs (for the stressed perfectionist)
Feeling stressed and constantly putting pressure on yourself to be perfect? You're not alone. Many ambitious and high-achieving people struggle with these things, and the reason isn’t because you’re not good enough. It comes down to something you’re probably not even aware of right now – limiting beliefs.
What is a limiting belief?
A limiting belief is an embedded (unconscious) belief, that we have decided is our absolute truth based on past experiences or what you’ve learnt to believe growing up from the beliefs and actions of those around you. It’s the way your unconscious mind makes sense of the world around you.
You’ve learnt those limiting beliefs (and also your behaviours, habits, thought patterns, anxieties and fears) through those experiences. It is not “just the way you are”.
Most of our beliefs are formed between the ages of 0-7, which is called the imprint period. It’s when we absorb everything going on around us like a sponge. At this point we’re just taking everything in as we develop, grow and build who we are as a person. This is when the personality, quirks, preferences and your individuality start to form. We are essentially not ‘conscious’ until after this period, which means we are in the present and everything we do is more intuitive.
Beliefs can either be limiting or empowering. A limiting belief is created from an initial experience, that you then give a meaning to and create a belief around it. It all happens unconsciously! It is created to protect you in some way, for example, to stop you from getting hurt again in the future. If you have this belief then your unconscious mind will fire up certain feelings such as anxiety or fear when it sees something that fits in with this belief. It will stop you from doing something uncomfortable or where there’s a risk where you might get hurt.
It’s called a limiting belief because it's not actually serving you anymore and is in fact limiting you in some way, where it once protected you!
These beliefs are then further embedded through experiences in life. But something to consider here is, if you have a limiting belief then you will subconsciously only pay attention to the things that fit in with this belief! So it’s a bit of a continuous cycle, that requires awareness to start changing things at that deeper, unconscious level.
Now you know what limiting beliefs actually are, you might be wondering what this means for you.
How limiting beliefs can show up in your life
Limiting beliefs are often the cause of unwanted thoughts, patterns, behaviours and habits. They are also the cause of self-sabotaging behaviours that you feel like you have no control over (and to some extent, right now you probably don’t) such as procrastination, perfectionism and imposter syndrome.
They’re probably even the reason for your negative self-talk, imposter syndrome, people-pleasing tendencies and the need to be productive all the time that are then making you feel burnt out and exhausted. This is why you can’t seem to stick to the habits you want to stick to, no matter how hard you try. When you have limiting beliefs getting in the way that you’re unaware of, it can have quite a big impact on your life where you’re just feeling as though something is getting in the way but you don’t know what it is or what to do about it.
Limiting beliefs can sound like:
I’m not good enough
I’m too old
I can’t do it (because of X reason)
I don’t have enough time
I’m not smart enough
Change is scary
It’s hard to make money
A sign you might have a limiting belief is that as much as you try to make positive changes, you just can’t do it. It feels like there is just something getting in the way; you might know what that is, you might not.
If you are someone who doesn’t think you have control over your life, always have a reason as to why you’re not living the life you want and feel like the world is against you… then that’s probably also related to limiting beliefs! They have a lot to answer for.
So you have some limiting beliefs, what on earth are you meant to do to overcome them?
By becoming aware of the beliefs that are holding you back, recognising them and challenging them you can start to remove them. Do the work to discover why you believe this, choose a new belief by reframing and then change them into more empowering beliefs.
Here is my 6 step process to remove and change a limiting belief.
Choose one limiting belief you think you might currently have, and then work your way through these questions:
What is the belief?
Why do I believe it?
What am I afraid will happen if I don’t believe that?
Do I believe that?
Who’s belief is that?
What can i believe instead that will support me?
Once you’ve answered all these questions and really spent some time digging into them, check in with yourself.
How do you feel about that belief now?
I hope you found this exercise useful! It can be so powerful to start shining that awareness on the unconscious parts of you that have been hidden for so long. Sometimes, just becoming aware of them helps to shift them immediately. Sometimes it takes a little bit more work, but there is always something that can be done about limiting beliefs.
If there’s anything you’re struggling with right now, or feeling as though you’re just not getting what you want, it’s all about what’s going on under the surface! Your limiting beliefs, your nervous system and your energy.
Remember, you are not alone in your struggles with limiting beliefs. They are so common and hold so many of us back from living the life we want. We all have limiting beliefs.
The good news is, limiting beliefs are not set in stone and the unconscious mind can be rewired. By bringing awareness to them, challenging their validity, and choosing new, empowering beliefs, you can create lasting positive change in your life.
If this process doesn’t shift the limiting beliefs, there is work you can also do with a trained professional like myself to access that subconscious part of you and make changes at the deeper level, through Hypnotherapy and Neuro-Linguistic programming.
If you're ready to dive deeper into overcoming limiting beliefs and would like to be supported in a compassionate and honest way while doing so, explore my free resources or book a free discovery call with me to discuss how I can help you achieve your goals and change your life.
Free guided meditation for busy minds
Go from stressed to calm in 18 minutes a day with this free guided meditation to support support you to slow down, release stress and let go of the things holding you back. Listen to this every day to create positive change at the root and give yourself a boost for the day.